I am considering making this a weekly (as possible) feature, to share with my readers some of the struggles that an ADHD mind deals with day-in and day-out. The only way that I have been able to do better than I used to is by letting technology take over some things like daily reminders (as you will notice, I need to get my To Do Lists back on par, and attach my phone and glasses to me somehow… You’ll see what I mean. Anyway, I’m definitely a work-in-progress, but I will share what has helped as I go along) :-), and building new habits and routines (so that certain tasks can become no-brainers)! Routines work, as long as I remember to DO those routines! Therein lies the conundrum. An alarm reminder works, as long as I’m not in the middle of something I’m trying to finish (or that HAS to be finished, in the case of kids, and other family members), AND I don’t get interrupted and forget to go back to finishing it… Do any of you feel my pain? I am telling you, the struggles are very REAL! What follows is only a very small sampling of what happens DAILY. What helps me through all of this is to be able to finally just laugh at myself, and not beat myself up TOO badly at the end of the day! 😀
Sunday evening 12/31/17 – I was able to get some filling appetizers made (thank you God, that I have learned a more recent habit that keeps my kitchen under better control – more about THAT in a later post!), but forgot to buy any fresh fruits, or veggies, to have on hand (fleeting thought – I REALLY need to get to Sprouts on Wednesday for “overlap ad day” and get produce). So meats, cheeses, gluten-free crackers, chips, and dips all around (fleeting thought – Oh shoot! We’re even out if probiotics. Oh boy, we’re all probably gonna get bloated…). Oh, and soda (ran out of Sport Drinks also), milk, and water only… Now, what to toast the new year in with..? Guess I’ll figure it out later… Maybe I could just make some powdered lemonade… I just REALLY want to go sit and watch movies with the family for once..! So, I go do that.
Sunday night 12/31/17, 11:51pm – I suddenly wake up, from falling asleep while sitting up on the couch (seems to happen every time I sit in one place) and say, “Oh c##p! What time is it?! Is it past midnight?!” Two kids look at me, and hubby wakes up..! Where is the 19yo? Quick, pause the movie, and turn on “Rockin’ New Year’s Eve” to watch the ball drop, and yell to the 19yo that it’s time to watch the ball drop! He comes running down the stairs. I now realize that I do NOT have time to make lemonade and get the wine glasses out… A tradition we started, as newlyweds 22+ years ago, and each kiddo has done since able to drink out of a cup, has now been broken for the FIRST TIME! On top of that, this may be the last time my 21yo daughter will be home to do this with us (depending on what date she and her fiancee are ever able to come up with… so, maybe not…)! Ugh! Happy New Year everybody! Now it is time to clean everything up and finish what I meant to work on while watching movies… About 1:15am – My daughter starts vomiting (fleeting thought – I hope I didn’t cause this by us having too many heavy, or greasy, foods for the evening...) She vomits every 45 minutes and is too weak to move. So, I wake up each time, until I HAVE to go to bed, or I’M going to start vomiting… well past 5:30am now.
Monday 01/01/18 – Wake up very late, of course. Of everything I did late last night, I did not set up the coffeemaker (part of my nighttime routine to make my mornings run smoother, but vomiting interrupted and I never returned to it. Oops!). Ugh! I feel like I need my morning coffee, to make my coffee. You think I have to be joking. Nope, not kidding. I make a quick cup of instant cappuccino with a Stoke® in it. Then, I’m ready. Okay. Now I need to set up the coffeemaker, eat SOMETHING, take my pills, and figure out what I should do today… I did cancel all the in-home therapies today, right? Quick! Check the calendar! Where did my phone go? Someone call my phone please, so I can find it! Okay. There it is… How did it get there..? Now, why was I looking for it? Guess it’ll come to me eventually. Why am I not smelling any coffee yet? Wait, what? I forgot to do that!? Ugh! Okay. Doing it now. Gosh I’m hungry! I still need to eat and take my pills… Okay, that’s next. **Doorbell rings** THAT’s why I was trying to find my phone! Did I forget to cancel someone?! Ugh! Oh, it’s only a home health delivery. Whew! Wait, what? They actually work on New Year’s Day? I hope they pay their employees extra for working today! Now, what in the world was I doing..?
Monday evening and into the night 01/01/18 – I was fairly productive the rest of the day. Took care of some emails, worked on a blog post, separated out some papers to bind and file, pulled out binders for said papers, sent a fax, etc… Wait, what? It’s past time for dinner… I announce to the family to just eat leftovers or otherwise figure out how to fend for themselves. I just feel like there is SOMETHING important I am forgetting to do... Hmmmm… I do my nighttime routine and get to bed at a decent time, for me, after some website tweaking while the house is quiet (the only time I can actually concentrate)… about 1:30 am.
Tuesday 01/02/18 – Started out much better. Did my whole routine last night. Normal day of kids and their in-home therapies, but I DID forget to let one of the therapists know that they needed to cancel Wednesday (tomorrow), because the 15yo will have his Day-Program during their usual time together… Ugh! Well, now she knows.
Tuesday after dinner time – After getting everyone’s pills out for the night and morning, and setting up the coffee maker, hubby comes out and tells me there’s a show I would probably like on TV. I wander out to see, and get hooked… It’s giving me some good laughs after a fairly productive day. How could I already be done? I still feel like there’s SOMETHING I am forgetting to do… Hubby goes to bed, he has to get up early… Ha! This show is hilarious! Hey, I was done with everything early, so let’s just watch all the episodes they’re showing! 🙂
About three hours later – I look at my calendar for tomorrow, and then say “Hey, we really need to get to bed! We have to be up early!” Thankfully, the 19yo that has to get up at 6, is already in bed… I get the 15yo to brush his teeth and go to bed, he has to get up at 7. I go to the kitchen and make his sandwich, so I can just pack it in the morning. I go and finish something on the computer and shut it down. I walk into my mom’s room, after 1am, to ask her if she can get the 15yo out the door when his van comes, because I forgot that I’ll be taking the 19yo to the light rail at the same time. **sigh** I get ready to go to bed, and while doing that I realize I HAD forgotten something important! All the paperwork, for my daughter’s appointment, to establish care with a new doctor tomorrow afternoon, has to be done! I haven’t even printed it out yet! I haul my rear end back downstairs to turn my computer back on to print it, and lay it in the MIDDLE of the table, so I CANNOT forget to start it as SOON as I return home in the morning from taking the 19yo to the light rail…
Wednesday 01/03/18 – Starts out hectic, and in a big rush, because we all overslept by about 20 minutes (Ummm, not a real surprise). Get the 15yo’s lunch bag thrown together, and help him dress (he is Autistic, and has a lot of fine motor and coordination issues). Wake up my daughter to move upstairs to the couch, so she can let him out the door when his van driver comes (so I don’t have to wake up my mom. She needs the sleep). Pack his backpack and give him the money for his activity that day. Run out the door and get in the very cold car with the 19yo. I look up and everything is blurry! Wait, what?! Dang! I forgot my glasses! Run back into the house and grab them, and run back out to the car. Take him, and come back home. Walk in, and my mom is up, because she was afraid that the 15yo was going to miss his ride. I forgot to go in and let her know my daughter was up to do it… Ugh! Sorry mom! Now, to grab coffee and breakfast, and get the paperwork done before my daughter’s appointment this afternoon (hurts to write, my tendonitis flared up again..!
30 minutes before the appointment check-in time – Okay. Just finishing up. I have to grab some cheese and a drink to eat on the way. Grab our stuff and run out the door. We just MIGHT make it on time! All buckled in and look up. Everything is freaking blurry, again! This time I have my computer glass on! Ugh!!! We’re cutting it too close to go back into the house. We just have to leave. We get halfway there, and I tell my daughter she should take a look at some of the paperwork… and now I realize I LEFT THE PAPERWORK AT HOME ON THE TABLE!!! No point in even going to the appointment, if we don’t have it! So, I turn around and go back home. Now we will for sure be LATE! We finally get to the appointment. The receptionist informs us that we’re late (thanks, we know), and the doctor will have to decide if we will have to reschedule..! Ugh! Thankfully, the doc decides to see her. The whole appointment is rushed, and both the doctor and her assistant verbally spank me about being late. Yes, I know. I really did try to do it, if I just had not forgotten that darn paperwork..!
And so goes the rest of my week… Oh, and by the way, I never did make it to Sprouts. Good thing I have had frozen veggies on hand. Frankly, just typing and proofreading this is exhausting! Now I can at least laugh at it all, and begin to see what I need to work on fixing, if I really want to keep this website going, and to hopefully help others out at the same time! And, I do want to.
If you struggle like I do, and are not able to laugh at yourself later, is it possibly because you feel like you’re all ALONE in your struggles? One of the first things you need to know is that YOU ARE NOT ALONE, as an adult with ADHD AND/OR Executive Functioning issues! I would like to make a few suggestions to possibly help you.
First, read or listen to books that deal with Adult ADHD (my suggestions are below)! I have reading issues (because of my extreme attention issues), so audio books are usually the route I need to go. Our Public Library offers MANY audio books AND e-books online, and if they don’t have the one I’m looking for, I request it. Many times they go ahead and buy it and offer it to me first! What’s really great is that it is automatically returned on day 22. So, no fines! BONUS (a really important one for me)!
If you would like your own copies, you can get them here. The following three books are favorites of mine for not feeling alone, and for knowing what might be possible for me to carry out in spite of, or even because of, the way my brain works:
Second, sign up to be notified when I load a new post. The form is at the bottom of this, and every other post on my website. Also, you can find my other posts here.
Third, you can go over to my facebook page and follow my page here, and let’s see if we can get some conversations going there. While on facebook, here are a couple of other pages you may find helpful, that I like to read and find strategies on. The first is fun to read and it is called Managing Adult ADD / ADHD. The other has a wealth of information on their website. It is called CHADD – Children and Adults with ADHD. Their facebook page is here, and their web page is here. Just be careful, there is SO MUCH there that it can become overwhelming!
So, maybe in traveling this journey with Itzy Squirrel, it will help me become more accountable, and aware, of where things fall apart on me. Then, I can begin to analyze the situations, and come up with some more strategies that work for me, and then share them with you! 😉
Here is to hoping you can find at least one thing to laugh at yourself about today!
Is there anything you want to see me talk about from our life? Do you need to find any particular resources? Anything else you want to ask? Please feel free to contact me on the form below, or email me at email@example.com ~ Thanks!